If It's Mentionable, It's Manageable. A Philosophy to Live By: An Inspired Reflection by Amanda Sidell, LCSW

“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know we are not alone.”
– Fred Rogers

This might just be my favorite quote of all time. Over the years, I’ve distilled it into a powerful little mantra:
If it’s mentionable, it’s manageable.

It’s guided me through triumphs and messes—personally, professionally, and as a parent. It’s a deceptively simple phrase that often requires a very courageous act: naming what feels unnamable. But like most things, it gets easier with practice.

Work: Narrowing the Inner/Outer Gap

Most of us wear a polished version of ourselves at work—a bit more filtered, a bit more cautious. And in environments where vulnerability isn’t modeled or welcomed, our inner voice may feel miles apart from what we say out loud.

That distance? It stifles authenticity, connection, creativity, and trust.

But when we embrace this philosophy—"If it’s mentionable, it’s manageable"—we step into a workplace culture that mirrors Radical Candor: one where honesty and care coexist. That’s where innovation and trust begin to grow.

Family: A Life-Saving Truth

This idea didn’t just shape my work—it saved my family.

As many of you know, my story is deeply entangled with my child’s. And I can share it only because they bravely shared theirs.

My child experienced a traumatic event—and for over two years, they said nothing. We watched helplessly as they retreated further into themselves, until we barely recognized the child we once knew.

And then, one day, they said it out loud.

They shared their story.

That moment changed everything. It was as though breath returned to the room and color seeped back into their world. Since then, our healing has been steady—uphill, yes, but upward.

In our house, “If it’s mentionable, it’s manageable” is more than a phrase. It’s a lifeline. It doesn’t mean things are always easy, but it means we can face anything—together.

Self: Finding My Own Voice

While my child and family were healing, I had to do some healing of my own.

I looked at the life I had carefully constructed—successful on paper but built around expectations and "shoulds"—and realized how angry and empty it had left me. I had doubled down on my corporate career during my family’s crisis, hoping that control at work might offset the chaos at home.

But real growth began when I finally started mentioning my own unmentionables. I looked inward. I got honest about my patterns, my past, my pain.

Only then could I begin to manage it.

Only then could real change begin.

 Words to Live By

Today, this philosophy anchors everything I do.

My children are thriving. Our family is healing. And I am living a more honest, grounded, and fulfilling life—one that no longer depends on ladders or applause but is rooted in purpose.

So if there’s something you’re holding in, wondering if it’s too heavy or too hard to speak—know this:
If it’s mentionable, it’s manageable.

And you are not alone.